If I met my past self.

Have you ever wondered what it would be like to sit down with your past self? To look into those eyes—perhaps a bit more guarded, maybe a touch more vulnerable—and just listen? This morning, I woke up thinking about it and asked myself how I would feel if I had that opportunity. Would I embrace her rough-around-the-edges moments, those questionable choices, and the hard-won victories she fought so fiercely for? How would I honor her today?

When I think about it, I’d want to thank her—and if you know me, you know I’m all about the hugs, and she’d be getting a lot of them. I’d thank her for the strength she called on when life didn’t make sense, for the lessons she endured, and for the resilience she built along the way. Every decision she made—each one a stepping stone that brought her closer to this version of me—has shaped who I am today. Even those chapters I’d love to rewrite or forget became part of a bigger story, one that’s still unfolding.

Every chapter we leave behind has a purpose, no matter how messy or uncertain it felt in the moment. It’s easy to get lost in the “what-ifs” and “if-onlys,” but if we linger there, we risk missing the beauty of the present and the potential of the future. So, rather than striving for perfection in our past or our present, what if we focused on creating as much inner peace as we can? Peace doesn’t mean perfection; it means allowing yourself to fully embrace every part of your journey, knowing each moment is helping you refine who you want to be moving forward.

Imagine looking back with empathy, not regret. To appreciate every struggle, every setback, as an essential ingredient in the life you’re creating now. From this lens, our biggest regrets can be transformed into guideposts, showing us what we truly value and who we aspire to become. In this way, our past selves become honored teachers, allowing us to grow without clinging to old mistakes or limiting definitions of who we are.

Our past selves remind us that growth isn’t about erasing or perfecting, but about fully embracing who we are today. Every new choice, every shift in perspective, is an opportunity to build a life rooted in authenticity and peace.

So as we reflect on our past, here’s a little love note to remind us to honor it. Appreciate each part for its role in shaping who you are. Release what no longer serves you, and step into the present with gratitude for how far you’ve come. In this way, you create space for new beginnings and a beautifully, empowered future. Embrace the journey—your journey. Every step brings you closer to your truest self.

The hidden grief behind our personal growth

I recently came across a quote by Té V Smith that said, “No one warns you about the amount of mourning in growth,” and it really hit home for me. Looking back on the peaks and valleys of my own journey, I realize just how true this is. Personal growth is often seen as something positive—
an exciting journey toward becoming the best version of ourselves. But after reading that quote, I felt it was important to talk about the part of growth that we don’t discuss enough: the mourning that comes with it.

As we pour time and energy into self-care, self-love, and self-worth, we naturally evolve. And with that evolution comes the release of old habits, shifts in our relationships, and versions of ourselves that no longer serve us. This process can definitely feel like a form of loss, and with it comes grief.

The spiritual journey is often portrayed as a path of light, peace, and harmony, and while that’s true, I believe the shadow parts of ourselves play an even greater role in helping us find that peace and harmony—it’s the darkness before the dawn, if you will. When we transition from one chapter of our lives to another, it can feel like letting go of the parts of ourselves we’ve clung to for comfort. Some of these parts have been with us for so long that it feels almost impossible to imagine life without them. Letting go can stir deep emotions, often bringing to the surface feelings we had buried, brushed under the rug or thought we had moved on from—without realizing there was more work to do.

When these emotions resurface, what I call ‘the pits of despair’ within myself can set in. There have been multiple times when I couldn’t stop crying for hours. And those in my inner circle know I’ve referred to it as the “Angelique Pity Party.” Maybe I’m being hard on myself in those moments, but that’s part of the process too. Feeling all the doom, gloom, and “why mes” can crack you open, as if you’re standing at the doorway to your soul, realizing, “Okay… it’s time to go.” You can’t hold on to this anymore if you want to move forward. And those tears, well, they become the beginning of transformation, of mourning. That’s how it’s been for me, and it’s something I’ve heard others talk about and go through as well.

But the mourning isn’t a sign of weakness or failure. It’s proof of the depth of the transformation we’re experiencing. It takes true courage to let go of the parts of ourselves that no longer serve us—the stuck parts or the pieces of our lives that just don’t fit anymore. While growth involves mourning, on the flip side, it brings resilience, wisdom, and a deeper connection to ourselves. Every time we release something that no longer serves us, we create space for new opportunities, healthier relationships, and the big one—more self-awareness. You find yourself in a state where you become “the forever student,” constantly evolving, and that’s something worth celebrating.

It’s important to remind ourselves that it’s okay to mourn our past, to feel the depth of that loss, but also to not lose sight of the beauty in what’s unfolding. Our spiritual journey is one of constant renewal. As my spirit guides once said to me, “Your awakening, my love, does not come but once. This is the path of many roads, many mountains. What you seek has never been lost, but the length of your journey to discover this, my dear, is completely up to you.” Powerful words I’ll never forget.

For those of you on the path of personal growth, know that you are not alone! Every soul experiences this duality—the grief of letting go and the joy of stepping into something new. Trust that your growth is unfolding as it’s meant to, even when it feels difficult. You have the courage and strength to navigate these changes and emerge more empowered, more aligned with your truest self.

Remember, the mourning is temporary, but the growth is eternal.

Stop Rubbernecking the Roadblocks

I was on the phone with a close friend the other night, a fellow intuitive, and I swear our spirit guides love to pop into our conversations, adding tidbits of wisdom to help guide us through life’s challenges. It’s quite wild how synchronized it all can be, but I wouldn’t change a thing. I’m forever thankful for those nuggets of “aha” moments that appear at just the right time. And, this was so powerful, I knew I had to share it because it speaks to something many of us face on our spiritual journey.

My friend and I were talking about how we often create elaborate stories in our minds—what we think the other person might be feeling, or scenarios that, 99.9% of the time, aren’t even real. Our thoughts take us to some dark places, especially when it comes to our self-worth, confidence, and ability to see what truly matters. It’s like the old saying, “What other people think of you is none of your business.” Right in the middle of this conversation, my friend’s spirit guide jumped in with a piece of advice that made me laugh and feel enlightened all at once: “Stop rubbernecking the roadblocks.”

At first, I nearly interrupted my friend mid-sentence to share what their spirit guide had just shouted to me clairaudiently, but I paused to let the words sink in. What a profound statement: Stop rubbernecking the roadblocks.

Oh my gosh… Have we not all been here? We’re driving along in life when we suddenly hit a standstill. Something blocks our path, and instead of moving forward or finding a solution, we get stuck staring at the roadblock. We analyze it from every angle, make up stories in our minds about why it’s there, how it’s stopping us, and how long we’ll be stuck. The truth is, in those moments when we feel paused or unable to move forward, we have two choices:

1. Worry about the obstacle. Let your thoughts spiral into worst-case scenarios and overanalyze every detail, leaving you stuck in indecision.

2. Be present and choose your next step. Acknowledge that sometimes roadblocks happen, but they don’t define your journey. Take a reroute if needed, trust in the timing, and own the decisions that will lead you to what’s best for your highest good.

The more I sat with it, I realized that this spiritual message isn’t just about the literal roadblocks we face—it’s about those moments when life seems to throw up obstacles, and instead of moving through them, we linger. We obsess over the problem instead of looking within ourselves for the guidance we need. The lesson here—stop dwelling on what’s holding you back and, instead, shift your focus to how you can move forward with intention and trust.

Our thoughts can create barriers that are far more limiting than any actual obstacle. When we allow ourselves to get caught up in negative self-talk, worries, or the need to control every detail, we forget that divine timing and our own intuition are powerful allies. Roadblocks are just pauses along the journey, offering us the space to reflect, adjust, and grow. They aren’t the end of the road.

In the end, “stop rubbernecking the roadblocks” is to me about shifting your focus from what’s holding you back to what you can do to move forward. Life will always have its challenges, but how we respond to those challenges defines our growth. The next time you feel stuck, take a breath, trust your intuition, and remember that even a detour can lead to incredible opportunities. You are not defined by the roadblocks you face, but by how you choose to navigate them.

No Going Back: Choosing Peace, Love, and Joy

There comes a time in each of our lives when everything we’ve ignored or brushed under the rug rises to the surface, demanding our attention. For me, that time came while standing at a clear crossroads—uncomfortable, unhappy, and feeling utterly stuck. You might often hear me mention that one meditation class that changed everything. I entered seeking peace of mind, yet I left with a profound reawakening to myself and the spirit world. That moment marked both the beginning and the end of my 16-plus-year marriage, serving as a pivotal turning point not only in my relationship but also in my personal and spiritual journey.

For years, I played the role of the fixer—non-confrontational and without any clear boundaries. I contorted myself into various shapes to make things work, all the while losing touch with who I truly was. I became like a doormat, hoping that eventually someone would recognize my worth. In the process, I buried my true self, and it weighed me down like a heavy cloak. I was like an ostrich, hiding my head in the sand, avoiding the truth. Looking back now, I can say, “Yes, I knew the truth, but I wasn’t ready to face it.” And for that, I extend myself grace, recognizing that I did my best given where I was on my journey. But, oh, that meditation class was the crack that opened a deeper connection to myself and the universe. It was time for transformation.

Spiritual awakenings are intensely personal and unique to each of us; they don’t follow a set plan or schedule. For me, it felt like shedding layers of skin, reminding me of the symbolism of a snake and its transformative meaning—something I shared in my last blog post. Over time, I’ve witnessed different versions of myself emerge. Up until my forties, I realized I had been fearless in many areas of my life, except in my relationships. I navigated through life absorbing everyone else’s challenges but was too afraid to make significant changes within myself. So, when my awakening struck, it felt like running into a wall. All the things I had tolerated or ignored became impossible to unsee.

My self-worth began to come alive, but it didn’t happen overnight. It felt like stepping into a new body and way of thinking, forcing me to unlearn everything I had known. The clarity was undeniable: I couldn’t continue living as I had before.

At 43, I embarked on a wild, beautifully twisting journey, and now, in my late fifties, I’m beginning to truly understand the art of self-love. But let me be honest—self-love isn’t about reaching a magical endpoint. It’s a significant shift for sure, but it’s an ongoing journey. Every time I think I’ve got it figured out, another layer of growth emerges, reminding me that this path is continuous—and I am incredibly grateful for it.

What I’ve learned over the years is that every person we meet acts as a mirror, reflecting back parts of ourselves—whether they show us kindness, indifference, or even cruelty. The important question to ask ourselves is always, “How am I showing up for myself in these situations?” The people we surround ourselves with either enhance our journey or detract from it. Today, I don’t even question this; it took a long time and hard work to evaluate my choices and opt for those who uplift me, aligning with the peace, joy, and happiness I want in my life. For those of us who have experienced a lifetime surrounded by a sea of negative influences, this was no small feat.

Of course, my internal fears and triggers haven’t disappeared. They still exist, but instead, I face them, take them by the hand, and guide them into the light alongside me. They’re part of my journey too, and embracing them has helped me grow in ways I never thought possible.

Loving ourselves means continuously showing up for ourselves, making choices that reflect our true values, and acknowledging that this journey is ongoing. Every encounter and relationship—whether loving or challenging—serves as a reflection of our inner world, challenging us, teaching us, and fostering our growth.

Our individual awakenings are processes that aren’t always easy; that’s an understatement. But if you asked me whether I would change it, my answer would be an automatic no. With every choice, I find myself moving closer to the version of me that is aligned with happiness. There’s no going back from that.

Each step we take toward self-discovery is a gift to ourselves, and it’s worth it—we are worth it. When we learn to trust the process, practice patience, and allow ourselves to be open to our own personal growth, we begin to connect with our authentic selves. We are all on this crazy ride together. Why not let it empower you?!

Dreams of Snakes: Uncovering Hidden Messages and Uncoiling Fear

The symbolism of the snake often represents a multitude of meanings, ranging from fear to enlightenment. It’s a creature that both frightens and fascinates us. In my dream last night, it was definitely a mix of both, as I found myself observing and experiencing what happens when we face fear head-on. Instead of running, I felt frozen in time—paused, reflective, and curious.

We’ve all experienced moments in life where fear grips us—times when it feels like we’re being suffocated by the weight of our own uncertainties, challenges, or past decisions. It’s in these moments that we can feel like we’re standing on the edge of the unknown, unsure if the next step will lead to safety or even deeper into the shadows.

In the dream, a massive yellow cobra appeared in my peripheral vision, coiling and lifting its head. As it neared, it wrapped itself tighter around me, and my instinct was to panic. Fear of being poisoned, suffocated, or consumed surged through me. But something unusual happened—I felt calm. Laughing now, out of the dream state, I thought I could sense the snake’s cleverness, as if I were predicting its next strategic move—like eating me! But instead, in its stillness, I found its face next to mine, and my fear stood still. In that moment, I realized this wasn’t just about the snake—it was about me. It was a reflection of my inner world, my worries, my insecurities.

I found myself desiring peace—not just survival from the snake, but peace within myself. My mind drifted into a space of deeper understanding—a realm where fear wasn’t an enemy but a guidepost to something greater. The snake, in this light, symbolized the very challenges I’d been facing lately, but it also revealed the strength I had in confronting them.

At that moment, I knew that facing the snake was part of my growth—and this was turning out to be a pretty interesting dream. Even if it led to the end of something—a “death” of sorts—it would only be the shedding of old skin (pun intended), a release of outdated fears that no longer served me.

Then, a presence entered. It wasn’t something I saw with my eyes, but something I felt—a calming and powerful energy, a spirit. The word “king” came to my consciousness, reminding me that I am protected and watched over. With that realization, the serpent, once a symbol of fear, slithered away. I was left standing, unharmed, empowered, and safe.

In spiritual traditions, snakes have long symbolized transformation and wisdom. Their ability to shed their skin makes them a powerful reminder that we, too, can release what no longer serves us and step into new versions of ourselves. The fears we encounter in life are often reflections of our own insecurities or unresolved emotions. When we look at them with curiosity instead of dread, they offer profound insights.

In moments of uncertainty, we often feel powerless, but it is in those moments that we have the greatest opportunity to connect with our inner strength. The key is to sit with the discomfort and allow fear to be a teacher, rather than an obstacle.

It made me reflect on the internal “snakes” in my life. Are there fears or challenges that I’ve been avoiding? Where are the opportunities for growth? These are questions I constantly ask myself. And what a beautiful message, delivered through dreams, to bring awareness that when we feel fear coiling around us, we should take a moment to pause. Breathe. Reflect. What is this moment trying to teach us about ourselves?

Is that inner strength—our inner “king,” our higher consciousness—wanting to guide us through? The journey of spiritual growth isn’t about avoiding challenges, but about facing them with courage, knowing that each one brings us closer to our truest self.

The most profound transformation happens when we stand in the presence of our fears, look them in the eye, and say, “I see you, but I will not be ruled by you.”