The cost of fitting in & breaking old cycles

This morning, I found myself reflecting on a conversation I had the other day, where I tried to fit in by venting about a frustrating situation. In the moment, it felt easier to just let it all out—something we all do from time to time. But afterward, I couldn’t shake how I felt about my participation in the conversation. I didn’t like it. This wasn’t who I am.

While I understand that I’m human and deserving of grace, I also realized something profound: solutions often live in the world of acceptance. They emerge when we hit that internal pause button, especially when we find ourselves caught up in throwing more wood on the fire, instead of being the positive force of self-restraint, even in the smallest of moments.

Accepting a situation for what it is doesn’t mean giving up or ignoring your feelings. It means recognizing that some things are beyond our control and choosing how we respond to them. When we do that, we shift from reacting to reflecting, creating space for clarity and growth.

This moment reminded me that my self-awareness is truly a gift. Even when we stumble, each realization brings us closer to our best selves, and I’m so grateful for it. Growth doesn’t mean perfection—it means choosing to learn and move forward, one step at a time.

If I met my past self.

Have you ever wondered what it would be like to sit down with your past self? To look into those eyes—perhaps a bit more guarded, maybe a touch more vulnerable—and just listen? This morning, I woke up thinking about it and asked myself how I would feel if I had that opportunity. Would I embrace her rough-around-the-edges moments, those questionable choices, and the hard-won victories she fought so fiercely for? How would I honor her today?

When I think about it, I’d want to thank her—and if you know me, you know I’m all about the hugs, and she’d be getting a lot of them. I’d thank her for the strength she called on when life didn’t make sense, for the lessons she endured, and for the resilience she built along the way. Every decision she made—each one a stepping stone that brought her closer to this version of me—has shaped who I am today. Even those chapters I’d love to rewrite or forget became part of a bigger story, one that’s still unfolding.

Every chapter we leave behind has a purpose, no matter how messy or uncertain it felt in the moment. It’s easy to get lost in the “what-ifs” and “if-onlys,” but if we linger there, we risk missing the beauty of the present and the potential of the future. So, rather than striving for perfection in our past or our present, what if we focused on creating as much inner peace as we can? Peace doesn’t mean perfection; it means allowing yourself to fully embrace every part of your journey, knowing each moment is helping you refine who you want to be moving forward.

Imagine looking back with empathy, not regret. To appreciate every struggle, every setback, as an essential ingredient in the life you’re creating now. From this lens, our biggest regrets can be transformed into guideposts, showing us what we truly value and who we aspire to become. In this way, our past selves become honored teachers, allowing us to grow without clinging to old mistakes or limiting definitions of who we are.

Our past selves remind us that growth isn’t about erasing or perfecting, but about fully embracing who we are today. Every new choice, every shift in perspective, is an opportunity to build a life rooted in authenticity and peace.

So as we reflect on our past, here’s a little love note to remind us to honor it. Appreciate each part for its role in shaping who you are. Release what no longer serves you, and step into the present with gratitude for how far you’ve come. In this way, you create space for new beginnings and a beautifully, empowered future. Embrace the journey—your journey. Every step brings you closer to your truest self.

Life Lessons: Letting go of Judgement

Years ago, I made a commitment to work on judgment—not just in how I saw others, but especially in how I judged myself. Let me tell you, this is a vulnerable topic and wasn’t an easy task or a simple switch I could just flip on or off. The more I practiced self-awareness, the more I began to see judgment for what it truly is: a reflection of my own fears, insecurities, and old patterns of conditioning. Judgment often isn’t rooted in reality but in our fears of not being enough and not meeting the expectations of others. I felt this to be 100% true within myself and knew I had to ask myself: why was I hiding behind the fear of what others might think? And… Why was I constantly seeking their approval, even when it didn’t align with my true self?

As I began to challenge these thoughts, I discovered the incredible power behind self-compassion. I started treating myself with the same kindness I would offer a close friend. I also made a conscious effort to surround myself with people who uplift and inspire me. This decision was HUGE for me, especially after coming from a past where I often played the fixer-upper among a sea of takers. Choosing to shift to a more positive inner circle of relationships provided me with the support and courage to stay true to my values, even when doubt tried its best to creep in.

What I realized was that I wasn’t judging others nearly as harshly as I was judging myself. It became clear that the more I worried about external opinions, the more I held myself back from fully embracing who I truly am. I wasn’t standing in my own power!

What I’ve discovered along the way is that the key isn’t to eliminate judgment from our journey; as humans, that would be an almost impossible task—speaking for myself here—but rather to learn how to rise above it. The less you care about external opinions, the more you’ll embrace what truly matters—your true self. We all have so much to offer the world, and our authenticity is our superpower.

Every step we take toward silencing the voices of judgment, both external and internal, is a step closer to living in alignment with our highest self. The journey to embracing who we truly are may not always be easy, but it’s one of the most rewarding paths we can walk. Don’t let the fear of judgment dim your light. The world needs the real you, with all of your unique gifts, your voice, and your heart. Keep rising above, keep shining, and know that your authenticity is your greatest strength.