Your future is closer than you think: insights from Meditation

In the summer of 2011, my life shifted in ways I could never have imagined. It was the start of my meditation journey, a journey that would awaken my consciousness and open the door to a world far greater than myself. Looking back now, 13 years later, I’m struck by how profoundly I’ve changed—how much I’ve grown spiritually, emotionally, and in my daily life.

This morning, while scrolling through my phone (a habit I know I need to rein in), I stumbled upon a video on manifestation. The idea of pulling energy from 15 years into the future and anchoring it into your present reality captured my attention. Manifestation has always been a pretty strong suit of mine—checking off goals and dreams with what often felt like, Okay, I’ve got this. But this concept of working deeper with quantum energy stirred something within me, and I’m not sure I’ll even scratch the surface in this blog post. But, I do think it’s important to share what came through in my meditation.

As I meditated, I asked, How can I bring my future into my present with ease? The answer that came through was swift and clear: “The future is now.” At first, I could rationalize the idea in my mind. Okay, I get it. We are living in the past, present, and future simultaneously. But I couldn’t shake the feeling that there was more to this message—something just beneath the surface, waiting to be uncovered. What was I missing?

 A Vision Revisited: The Desert and the Sand

Meditation has always been a space where I receive insights, and today was no different. As I sat with the phrase “the future is now,” a vision unfolded. At first, I envisioned myself doing readings full-time—my calendar fully booked, being of service, and helping many people. This was what I was hoping to see. But instead—or perhaps in addition—I saw myself lecturing in front of a crowd, something I’ve always fiercely feared.

It was a far cry from the terrified person I thought I was, remembering a time when I needed to borrow half a Valium from a friend (yes, I was that nervous and desperate) just to speak on stage in front of a small crowd of people at a work meeting, fearing I might pass out or throw up. Yet what struck me wasn’t just the vision itself; it was what followed.

I suddenly saw soft sand running through my fingers, which triggered a memory from the summer of 2011—the very beginning of my meditation practice. I had attended a meditation class with my mentor, a psychic medium, who spoke about Christ consciousness during a morning chat before class. Back then, I didn’t fully understand energy, guides, or spiritual growth. But several months later, during another meditation class, the subject was briefly brought up again, and I didn’t think much about it. But, when I sat in meditation, an energy surrounded me that was so incredibly warm it felt like I was sitting in front of a fire—comforting yet really powerful.

In a quick flash, I had a vision of Jeshua (Jesus) standing silently beside me in a vast desert. He gestured toward the horizon, sweeping his arm from left to right multiple times, as if to say, “Look.” At the time, I didn’t understand the vision’s significance. Today, I finally get it. Laughing out loud.

Needless to say, whether I understood the message 13 years ago or not, I cried like a baby. Tears poured down my face from the power behind such an incredibly beautiful ascended master. All I can think as I’m typing this now is, How sci-fi is this ride I’m on?

I’ll admit, I had to look up the meaning of the desert and sand this morning, thinking, Why didn’t I do that 13 years ago? But before I did, my guides asked me to first discover what it meant to me first. The words unknown, resilience, opportunity, future not realized, spiritual testing, looking inward, growth, and divine guidance popped into my mind. It felt in sync with the researched meaning of both the desert and the sand, which hold deep spiritual significance. The pieces of the puzzle began to unfold:

The Desert: A place of spiritual growth, testing, and solitude. It invites us to strip away distractions and focus on what truly matters.

The Sand: A reminder of time, impermanence, and the importance of letting go. Just as sand slips through our fingers, life flows in ways we cannot control.

When Jeshua gestured toward the horizon, he was inviting me to expand my awareness—to look beyond the immediate and trust in the unfolding of divine timing. Now, with the sand running through my fingers, I fully understand the message: the future is not something “out there”; it’s something we create and embody in the present moment.

Talk about divine timing—learning the meaning behind a vision 13 years later. Mind blown. You can’t make this stuff up.

Manifestation isn’t about force or striving; it’s about aligning your energy with your vision and letting it unfold naturally.

Here are a few takeaways from this morning’s meditation in manifesting that I pulled from the experience

Embrace the Now “aka the future is now” Start by grounding yourself in the present moment. Ask, What do I want my future to feel like? Then, bring that energy into your day-to-day actions.

Let Go of Control Just as sand slips through your fingers, release the need to control every outcome. Trust that the universe is working in your favor.

Take Inspired Action Manifestation isn’t passive. Take small steps that align with your vision, but let them be guided by intuition rather than fear or pressure.

Be Open to Growth Fear often accompanies growth. My vision of lecturing reminded me that the things we resist are often where our greatest growth lies. Ugh, right?!

Thirteen years ago, I couldn’t feel the energy of Christ consciousness. I was the first year student, overwhelmed, curious and unsure. Today, I can look back and see how every moment—every struggle and triumph—was part of the journey to understanding.

How beautiful. That vision of the desert reminded me of how all the dots I’ve needed to connect for learning and growth over the years have come together. The sand running through my fingers teaches us to surrender, and the presence of Jeshua in the vision is a reminder to trust the divine guidance within and around me. And this morning, I was reminded that the future isn’t something we chase; it’s something we embody.

So, if you’re holding on too tightly or waiting for the “perfect moment,” let this be your invitation to let go. Your future is now. Trust it. Live it. BE it.

The hidden grief behind our personal growth

I recently came across a quote by Té V Smith that said, “No one warns you about the amount of mourning in growth,” and it really hit home for me. Looking back on the peaks and valleys of my own journey, I realize just how true this is. Personal growth is often seen as something positive—
an exciting journey toward becoming the best version of ourselves. But after reading that quote, I felt it was important to talk about the part of growth that we don’t discuss enough: the mourning that comes with it.

As we pour time and energy into self-care, self-love, and self-worth, we naturally evolve. And with that evolution comes the release of old habits, shifts in our relationships, and versions of ourselves that no longer serve us. This process can definitely feel like a form of loss, and with it comes grief.

The spiritual journey is often portrayed as a path of light, peace, and harmony, and while that’s true, I believe the shadow parts of ourselves play an even greater role in helping us find that peace and harmony—it’s the darkness before the dawn, if you will. When we transition from one chapter of our lives to another, it can feel like letting go of the parts of ourselves we’ve clung to for comfort. Some of these parts have been with us for so long that it feels almost impossible to imagine life without them. Letting go can stir deep emotions, often bringing to the surface feelings we had buried, brushed under the rug or thought we had moved on from—without realizing there was more work to do.

When these emotions resurface, what I call ‘the pits of despair’ within myself can set in. There have been multiple times when I couldn’t stop crying for hours. And those in my inner circle know I’ve referred to it as the “Angelique Pity Party.” Maybe I’m being hard on myself in those moments, but that’s part of the process too. Feeling all the doom, gloom, and “why mes” can crack you open, as if you’re standing at the doorway to your soul, realizing, “Okay… it’s time to go.” You can’t hold on to this anymore if you want to move forward. And those tears, well, they become the beginning of transformation, of mourning. That’s how it’s been for me, and it’s something I’ve heard others talk about and go through as well.

But the mourning isn’t a sign of weakness or failure. It’s proof of the depth of the transformation we’re experiencing. It takes true courage to let go of the parts of ourselves that no longer serve us—the stuck parts or the pieces of our lives that just don’t fit anymore. While growth involves mourning, on the flip side, it brings resilience, wisdom, and a deeper connection to ourselves. Every time we release something that no longer serves us, we create space for new opportunities, healthier relationships, and the big one—more self-awareness. You find yourself in a state where you become “the forever student,” constantly evolving, and that’s something worth celebrating.

It’s important to remind ourselves that it’s okay to mourn our past, to feel the depth of that loss, but also to not lose sight of the beauty in what’s unfolding. Our spiritual journey is one of constant renewal. As my spirit guides once said to me, “Your awakening, my love, does not come but once. This is the path of many roads, many mountains. What you seek has never been lost, but the length of your journey to discover this, my dear, is completely up to you.” Powerful words I’ll never forget.

For those of you on the path of personal growth, know that you are not alone! Every soul experiences this duality—the grief of letting go and the joy of stepping into something new. Trust that your growth is unfolding as it’s meant to, even when it feels difficult. You have the courage and strength to navigate these changes and emerge more empowered, more aligned with your truest self.

Remember, the mourning is temporary, but the growth is eternal.

Finding your Purpose

Everyone faces times in their lives when clarity about their path feels impossible, marked by uncertainty and resistance that often go hand in hand. It’s like trying to move forward with one wheel stuck in the mud—creating imbalance and a lot of frustration. When I asked for wisdom from my spirit guides on finding clarity and purpose, the message was clear: all paths lead to letting go of the pressure we place on ourselves and returning to our authentic selves, to joy and happiness. What does that mean? Well, let’s break it down:

The Dreaded Uncertainty: Finding Your Purpose
We could all ponder the age-old question, “Why am I here?” But for now, let’s focus on a simpler approach to bringing more joy and fulfillment into your life—essentially, finding your purpose. Many of us overthink what having a purpose is supposed to mean. Are you wondering if you truly love what you’re doing now? Just answering “yes” or “no” can be a starting point. If you’re not feeling fulfilled, ask yourself, without limits, what you’d really love to do. We often think of purpose as something grand, but it can also be found in small, everyday actions. For example, your job might pay the bills but not ignite your passion; however, it still serves a purpose. Remember, it’s not the position or job that defines your purpose; it’s how you feel while doing it. For example, you don’t have to be a nurse, doctor, therapist, teacher, or coach to help or be of service to others—unless that’s your specific desire. There is great power in showing kindness and lending a helping hand in your daily life. Consider the ripple effect of opening a door for someone with their hands full, showing someone how to do something, or being a listening ear for someone having a rough day. One’s purpose can be simple; it’s about letting go of what you think it’s supposed to be and following how your choices make you feel.

Resistance: Overcoming Doubt
If you’re stuck in a cycle of doubt and unhappiness, ask yourself: What do I truly want to do? Identify what makes you happy, including hobbies and interests, especially if you’re unsure. Then, evaluate whether you’re taking steps toward these goals. Let go of the fear of failure. It’s normal to think, “It’s too hard” or “I’m not capable,” but these fears only prevent you from being your true self. I heard a quote once that stuck with me: “Fear often signals that there’s something important you need to confront.” There’s a lot of truth in that statement.

When it comes to facing our fears and not succeeding, remember that everyone experiences setbacks. But, the excitement and strength within comes from the journey of trying. My spirit guides have always loved to nudge me by saying, ‘Just try’ to help push the needle forward. Embrace the possibilities, let go of the “I can’t” mindset, and you’ll find joy in the process. The choice is yours; your mindset is your own. No one owns that power but you! And, remember, building momentum, strength, and courage comes through action and creating new experiences.

True growth and joy come from stepping forward despite the doubts. Choose courage, take that next step, and let your light shine brightly. The journey may be challenging, but when we release the grip of doubt, every step forward is a victory, leading you closer to the desires you seek and a rewarding journey.

Poem: Destined Path

Golden is the light that encompasses my very being, unveiling the profound truth of my destined path. This journey seals wounds of generations past—a sacred duty stitched into the very fabric of one’s soul. I stand bare and unguarded; the chains dissolve, slipping from my fingertips like the softest sand, transforming into precious jewels. No longer bound by indecision, I ascend beyond the shadows, guided by ancestral codes. My lineage, once tangled in thorns, now flourishes with intent, mending history with a celebration of love.

Poem: Transcending Shadows

Blades sear and silence, as if speech itself were forbidden, imprisoning you behind towering walls and locked doors. In the face of defeat, you forget the power you hold within. The clock mocks you, each tick a thorn constricting your path. Trapped in the chaos of storms and tornadoes, wounded and barely mended, you are carried away by tides that shiver in defeat. Small and helpless, boxed in darkness, caged and beaten, your eyes close to the vast expanse of your soul, forgetting you hold the key.

Leave the past to rest, my dear. Grieve its passage, and send it love’s gentle embrace. Look beyond the veil; your vessel has arrived. Take my hand, for here is my lantern to illuminate the way. I will be your wings to soar above, your companion and confidant, your friend and protector. Fear not, for in unity, we will transcend the shadows, embracing the love and power that reside within your divine essence—your destiny.