When Change disrupts your comfort zone

There’s one thing we’ll always find on our journey, no matter how much we try to avoid it, is change. Some changes we can control and manage, and others…not so much.

For example—I love rearranging the furniture in my living room or bedroom every now and then. There are really only two ways to move things around because of the space and scale of my furniture, but that tiny shift feels new. It’s energizing. It shifts my mindset.

Then there are the weekends when I decide to try a new hiking trail or take some photos at a spot I’ve never been to before. That little invitation to explore something different is so good for the soul, isn’t it?

But not all changes come wrapped in a bow of excitement. Sometimes, life throws in an unexpected curveball: an illness, a career hurdle, financial stress, family dynamics, relationships, etc... And suddenly, it’s not about rearranging furniture—it’s about rearranging your heart, your mind, and your ability to adapt.

For me, it’s so easy to get caught up in the imbalance of it all. I’ll admit, I’ve gotten better over the years—age does bring wisdom—but patience still isn’t exactly my strong suit. When life feels overwhelming, I often find myself wanting to fix things, to make sense of what feels messy.

But here’s the lesson I’ve learned—one I’m still learning: not every change is meant to be fixed or figured out. Some changes are about letting go. About hitting the pause button, taking a deep breath, and sitting with whatever is happening, even if it feels uncomfortable.

I feel like a broken record if I’ve mentioned this before, but if I’m being honest, it’s advice that often sits on my shoulder, whispering in my ear: letting go doesn’t mean giving up. It means creating space for peace, even when life feels chaotic. It’s about trusting that every shift, even the hard ones, carries something valuable. Sometimes it’s a lesson in resilience; other times, it’s a reminder that we’re stronger than we think.

I’ve learned that change—whether it’s something as simple as moving a couch or as profound as facing the unknown—has the power to transform us. I once listened to a podcast where actor Matthew McConaughey shared an analogy about the colors of a stoplight. He explained that if life were all green lights, with no hardships, no challenges, no “change,” or introspection, then what would it all be for? We need the yellows and reds, too.

I might be veering off topic a bit, but his analogy feels so relevant to change. Those pauses and stops—those moments of uncertainty or struggle—are what help us evolve. It’s where growth happens. It’s where we learn to loosen our grip on the things we can’t control and start embracing what is.

So, here’s a gentle nudge for us: when change knocks, let’s answer with curiosity. Let’s ask ourselves, “What can this teach us? How can this moment serve our growth?” Even when it feels uncomfortable, even when we don’t have all the answers.

Every change, whether small or life-altering, is shaping us. It’s helping us align with our highest selves, one step at a time. And in those moments when it feels overwhelming, let’s remind ourselves that we’re not alone. My favorite go-to reminder? You’ve got this.

The cost of fitting in & breaking old cycles

This morning, I found myself reflecting on a conversation I had the other day, where I tried to fit in by venting about a frustrating situation. In the moment, it felt easier to just let it all out—something we all do from time to time. But afterward, I couldn’t shake how I felt about my participation in the conversation. I didn’t like it. This wasn’t who I am.

While I understand that I’m human and deserving of grace, I also realized something profound: solutions often live in the world of acceptance. They emerge when we hit that internal pause button, especially when we find ourselves caught up in throwing more wood on the fire, instead of being the positive force of self-restraint, even in the smallest of moments.

Accepting a situation for what it is doesn’t mean giving up or ignoring your feelings. It means recognizing that some things are beyond our control and choosing how we respond to them. When we do that, we shift from reacting to reflecting, creating space for clarity and growth.

This moment reminded me that my self-awareness is truly a gift. Even when we stumble, each realization brings us closer to our best selves, and I’m so grateful for it. Growth doesn’t mean perfection—it means choosing to learn and move forward, one step at a time.

False doors and open hearts

In a world where we often carry the weight of our past wounds, it’s easy to believe that our worth resides in the hurt we’ve endured. We find ourselves standing at a false door—a barrier created to protect our hearts but one that keeps us from truly seeing the depth of our potential and desires.

The path to self-discovery calls for balance and harmony with both our past and present. To grow, we must learn to walk away from the pain that no longer serves us, placing self-forgiveness at the forefront and releasing what binds us to the stories of who we once were.

We build walls around our hearts, thinking we’re shielding ourselves from harm. But these walls do more than protect—they isolate. While we may keep hurt out, we also block love, opportunity, and truth from coming in. Our journey is not about avoiding pain but about courageously facing it, knowing we are strong enough to endure and heal.

Harmony comes from understanding that our past does not define our worth. Every experience—joyful or painful—has shaped the incredible beings we are today. By reflecting on past experiences rather than clinging to them, we create space for new opportunities to flow into our lives.

When we stop guarding our hearts so fiercely, we begin to see clearly what we truly desire. Whether it’s love, purpose, or a deeper connection to our intuition, we allow ourselves to ask, “What do I truly want? What fulfills me?”

When we align with our inner truth and let our intuition guide our path, we find that desires born of fear fall away. What remains are the pursuits that light our souls on fire.

The most profound connections—both with others and with ourselves—come when we let down our walls and trust that the universe is guiding us toward our highest good. Healing is not about erasing the past but about integrating its lessons with grace and compassion.

Remember, your worth does not live in the wounds of yesterday but in the light you allow to shine today. You have the power to release, forgive, and align with your true self. The universe is waiting to meet you where you are, ready to co-create the life you desire.

If I met my past self.

Have you ever wondered what it would be like to sit down with your past self? To look into those eyes—perhaps a bit more guarded, maybe a touch more vulnerable—and just listen? This morning, I woke up thinking about it and asked myself how I would feel if I had that opportunity. Would I embrace her rough-around-the-edges moments, those questionable choices, and the hard-won victories she fought so fiercely for? How would I honor her today?

When I think about it, I’d want to thank her—and if you know me, you know I’m all about the hugs, and she’d be getting a lot of them. I’d thank her for the strength she called on when life didn’t make sense, for the lessons she endured, and for the resilience she built along the way. Every decision she made—each one a stepping stone that brought her closer to this version of me—has shaped who I am today. Even those chapters I’d love to rewrite or forget became part of a bigger story, one that’s still unfolding.

Every chapter we leave behind has a purpose, no matter how messy or uncertain it felt in the moment. It’s easy to get lost in the “what-ifs” and “if-onlys,” but if we linger there, we risk missing the beauty of the present and the potential of the future. So, rather than striving for perfection in our past or our present, what if we focused on creating as much inner peace as we can? Peace doesn’t mean perfection; it means allowing yourself to fully embrace every part of your journey, knowing each moment is helping you refine who you want to be moving forward.

Imagine looking back with empathy, not regret. To appreciate every struggle, every setback, as an essential ingredient in the life you’re creating now. From this lens, our biggest regrets can be transformed into guideposts, showing us what we truly value and who we aspire to become. In this way, our past selves become honored teachers, allowing us to grow without clinging to old mistakes or limiting definitions of who we are.

Our past selves remind us that growth isn’t about erasing or perfecting, but about fully embracing who we are today. Every new choice, every shift in perspective, is an opportunity to build a life rooted in authenticity and peace.

So as we reflect on our past, here’s a little love note to remind us to honor it. Appreciate each part for its role in shaping who you are. Release what no longer serves you, and step into the present with gratitude for how far you’ve come. In this way, you create space for new beginnings and a beautifully, empowered future. Embrace the journey—your journey. Every step brings you closer to your truest self.

The hidden grief behind our personal growth

I recently came across a quote by Té V Smith that said, “No one warns you about the amount of mourning in growth,” and it really hit home for me. Looking back on the peaks and valleys of my own journey, I realize just how true this is. Personal growth is often seen as something positive—
an exciting journey toward becoming the best version of ourselves. But after reading that quote, I felt it was important to talk about the part of growth that we don’t discuss enough: the mourning that comes with it.

As we pour time and energy into self-care, self-love, and self-worth, we naturally evolve. And with that evolution comes the release of old habits, shifts in our relationships, and versions of ourselves that no longer serve us. This process can definitely feel like a form of loss, and with it comes grief.

The spiritual journey is often portrayed as a path of light, peace, and harmony, and while that’s true, I believe the shadow parts of ourselves play an even greater role in helping us find that peace and harmony—it’s the darkness before the dawn, if you will. When we transition from one chapter of our lives to another, it can feel like letting go of the parts of ourselves we’ve clung to for comfort. Some of these parts have been with us for so long that it feels almost impossible to imagine life without them. Letting go can stir deep emotions, often bringing to the surface feelings we had buried, brushed under the rug or thought we had moved on from—without realizing there was more work to do.

When these emotions resurface, what I call ‘the pits of despair’ within myself can set in. There have been multiple times when I couldn’t stop crying for hours. And those in my inner circle know I’ve referred to it as the “Angelique Pity Party.” Maybe I’m being hard on myself in those moments, but that’s part of the process too. Feeling all the doom, gloom, and “why mes” can crack you open, as if you’re standing at the doorway to your soul, realizing, “Okay… it’s time to go.” You can’t hold on to this anymore if you want to move forward. And those tears, well, they become the beginning of transformation, of mourning. That’s how it’s been for me, and it’s something I’ve heard others talk about and go through as well.

But the mourning isn’t a sign of weakness or failure. It’s proof of the depth of the transformation we’re experiencing. It takes true courage to let go of the parts of ourselves that no longer serve us—the stuck parts or the pieces of our lives that just don’t fit anymore. While growth involves mourning, on the flip side, it brings resilience, wisdom, and a deeper connection to ourselves. Every time we release something that no longer serves us, we create space for new opportunities, healthier relationships, and the big one—more self-awareness. You find yourself in a state where you become “the forever student,” constantly evolving, and that’s something worth celebrating.

It’s important to remind ourselves that it’s okay to mourn our past, to feel the depth of that loss, but also to not lose sight of the beauty in what’s unfolding. Our spiritual journey is one of constant renewal. As my spirit guides once said to me, “Your awakening, my love, does not come but once. This is the path of many roads, many mountains. What you seek has never been lost, but the length of your journey to discover this, my dear, is completely up to you.” Powerful words I’ll never forget.

For those of you on the path of personal growth, know that you are not alone! Every soul experiences this duality—the grief of letting go and the joy of stepping into something new. Trust that your growth is unfolding as it’s meant to, even when it feels difficult. You have the courage and strength to navigate these changes and emerge more empowered, more aligned with your truest self.

Remember, the mourning is temporary, but the growth is eternal.