The hidden grief behind our personal growth

I recently came across a quote by Té V Smith that said, “No one warns you about the amount of mourning in growth,” and it really hit home for me. Looking back on the peaks and valleys of my own journey, I realize just how true this is. Personal growth is often seen as something positive—
an exciting journey toward becoming the best version of ourselves. But after reading that quote, I felt it was important to talk about the part of growth that we don’t discuss enough: the mourning that comes with it.

As we pour time and energy into self-care, self-love, and self-worth, we naturally evolve. And with that evolution comes the release of old habits, shifts in our relationships, and versions of ourselves that no longer serve us. This process can definitely feel like a form of loss, and with it comes grief.

The spiritual journey is often portrayed as a path of light, peace, and harmony, and while that’s true, I believe the shadow parts of ourselves play an even greater role in helping us find that peace and harmony—it’s the darkness before the dawn, if you will. When we transition from one chapter of our lives to another, it can feel like letting go of the parts of ourselves we’ve clung to for comfort. Some of these parts have been with us for so long that it feels almost impossible to imagine life without them. Letting go can stir deep emotions, often bringing to the surface feelings we had buried, brushed under the rug or thought we had moved on from—without realizing there was more work to do.

When these emotions resurface, what I call ‘the pits of despair’ within myself can set in. There have been multiple times when I couldn’t stop crying for hours. And those in my inner circle know I’ve referred to it as the “Angelique Pity Party.” Maybe I’m being hard on myself in those moments, but that’s part of the process too. Feeling all the doom, gloom, and “why mes” can crack you open, as if you’re standing at the doorway to your soul, realizing, “Okay… it’s time to go.” You can’t hold on to this anymore if you want to move forward. And those tears, well, they become the beginning of transformation, of mourning. That’s how it’s been for me, and it’s something I’ve heard others talk about and go through as well.

But the mourning isn’t a sign of weakness or failure. It’s proof of the depth of the transformation we’re experiencing. It takes true courage to let go of the parts of ourselves that no longer serve us—the stuck parts or the pieces of our lives that just don’t fit anymore. While growth involves mourning, on the flip side, it brings resilience, wisdom, and a deeper connection to ourselves. Every time we release something that no longer serves us, we create space for new opportunities, healthier relationships, and the big one—more self-awareness. You find yourself in a state where you become “the forever student,” constantly evolving, and that’s something worth celebrating.

It’s important to remind ourselves that it’s okay to mourn our past, to feel the depth of that loss, but also to not lose sight of the beauty in what’s unfolding. Our spiritual journey is one of constant renewal. As my spirit guides once said to me, “Your awakening, my love, does not come but once. This is the path of many roads, many mountains. What you seek has never been lost, but the length of your journey to discover this, my dear, is completely up to you.” Powerful words I’ll never forget.

For those of you on the path of personal growth, know that you are not alone! Every soul experiences this duality—the grief of letting go and the joy of stepping into something new. Trust that your growth is unfolding as it’s meant to, even when it feels difficult. You have the courage and strength to navigate these changes and emerge more empowered, more aligned with your truest self.

Remember, the mourning is temporary, but the growth is eternal.

Stop Rubbernecking the Roadblocks

I was on the phone with a close friend the other night, a fellow intuitive, and I swear our spirit guides love to pop into our conversations, adding tidbits of wisdom to help guide us through life’s challenges. It’s quite wild how synchronized it all can be, but I wouldn’t change a thing. I’m forever thankful for those nuggets of “aha” moments that appear at just the right time. And, this was so powerful, I knew I had to share it because it speaks to something many of us face on our spiritual journey.

My friend and I were talking about how we often create elaborate stories in our minds—what we think the other person might be feeling, or scenarios that, 99.9% of the time, aren’t even real. Our thoughts take us to some dark places, especially when it comes to our self-worth, confidence, and ability to see what truly matters. It’s like the old saying, “What other people think of you is none of your business.” Right in the middle of this conversation, my friend’s spirit guide jumped in with a piece of advice that made me laugh and feel enlightened all at once: “Stop rubbernecking the roadblocks.”

At first, I nearly interrupted my friend mid-sentence to share what their spirit guide had just shouted to me clairaudiently, but I paused to let the words sink in. What a profound statement: Stop rubbernecking the roadblocks.

Oh my gosh… Have we not all been here? We’re driving along in life when we suddenly hit a standstill. Something blocks our path, and instead of moving forward or finding a solution, we get stuck staring at the roadblock. We analyze it from every angle, make up stories in our minds about why it’s there, how it’s stopping us, and how long we’ll be stuck. The truth is, in those moments when we feel paused or unable to move forward, we have two choices:

1. Worry about the obstacle. Let your thoughts spiral into worst-case scenarios and overanalyze every detail, leaving you stuck in indecision.

2. Be present and choose your next step. Acknowledge that sometimes roadblocks happen, but they don’t define your journey. Take a reroute if needed, trust in the timing, and own the decisions that will lead you to what’s best for your highest good.

The more I sat with it, I realized that this spiritual message isn’t just about the literal roadblocks we face—it’s about those moments when life seems to throw up obstacles, and instead of moving through them, we linger. We obsess over the problem instead of looking within ourselves for the guidance we need. The lesson here—stop dwelling on what’s holding you back and, instead, shift your focus to how you can move forward with intention and trust.

Our thoughts can create barriers that are far more limiting than any actual obstacle. When we allow ourselves to get caught up in negative self-talk, worries, or the need to control every detail, we forget that divine timing and our own intuition are powerful allies. Roadblocks are just pauses along the journey, offering us the space to reflect, adjust, and grow. They aren’t the end of the road.

In the end, “stop rubbernecking the roadblocks” is to me about shifting your focus from what’s holding you back to what you can do to move forward. Life will always have its challenges, but how we respond to those challenges defines our growth. The next time you feel stuck, take a breath, trust your intuition, and remember that even a detour can lead to incredible opportunities. You are not defined by the roadblocks you face, but by how you choose to navigate them.

No Going Back: Choosing Peace, Love, and Joy

There comes a time in each of our lives when everything we’ve ignored or brushed under the rug rises to the surface, demanding our attention. For me, that time came while standing at a clear crossroads—uncomfortable, unhappy, and feeling utterly stuck. You might often hear me mention that one meditation class that changed everything. I entered seeking peace of mind, yet I left with a profound reawakening to myself and the spirit world. That moment marked both the beginning and the end of my 16-plus-year marriage, serving as a pivotal turning point not only in my relationship but also in my personal and spiritual journey.

For years, I played the role of the fixer—non-confrontational and without any clear boundaries. I contorted myself into various shapes to make things work, all the while losing touch with who I truly was. I became like a doormat, hoping that eventually someone would recognize my worth. In the process, I buried my true self, and it weighed me down like a heavy cloak. I was like an ostrich, hiding my head in the sand, avoiding the truth. Looking back now, I can say, “Yes, I knew the truth, but I wasn’t ready to face it.” And for that, I extend myself grace, recognizing that I did my best given where I was on my journey. But, oh, that meditation class was the crack that opened a deeper connection to myself and the universe. It was time for transformation.

Spiritual awakenings are intensely personal and unique to each of us; they don’t follow a set plan or schedule. For me, it felt like shedding layers of skin, reminding me of the symbolism of a snake and its transformative meaning—something I shared in my last blog post. Over time, I’ve witnessed different versions of myself emerge. Up until my forties, I realized I had been fearless in many areas of my life, except in my relationships. I navigated through life absorbing everyone else’s challenges but was too afraid to make significant changes within myself. So, when my awakening struck, it felt like running into a wall. All the things I had tolerated or ignored became impossible to unsee.

My self-worth began to come alive, but it didn’t happen overnight. It felt like stepping into a new body and way of thinking, forcing me to unlearn everything I had known. The clarity was undeniable: I couldn’t continue living as I had before.

At 43, I embarked on a wild, beautifully twisting journey, and now, in my late fifties, I’m beginning to truly understand the art of self-love. But let me be honest—self-love isn’t about reaching a magical endpoint. It’s a significant shift for sure, but it’s an ongoing journey. Every time I think I’ve got it figured out, another layer of growth emerges, reminding me that this path is continuous—and I am incredibly grateful for it.

What I’ve learned over the years is that every person we meet acts as a mirror, reflecting back parts of ourselves—whether they show us kindness, indifference, or even cruelty. The important question to ask ourselves is always, “How am I showing up for myself in these situations?” The people we surround ourselves with either enhance our journey or detract from it. Today, I don’t even question this; it took a long time and hard work to evaluate my choices and opt for those who uplift me, aligning with the peace, joy, and happiness I want in my life. For those of us who have experienced a lifetime surrounded by a sea of negative influences, this was no small feat.

Of course, my internal fears and triggers haven’t disappeared. They still exist, but instead, I face them, take them by the hand, and guide them into the light alongside me. They’re part of my journey too, and embracing them has helped me grow in ways I never thought possible.

Loving ourselves means continuously showing up for ourselves, making choices that reflect our true values, and acknowledging that this journey is ongoing. Every encounter and relationship—whether loving or challenging—serves as a reflection of our inner world, challenging us, teaching us, and fostering our growth.

Our individual awakenings are processes that aren’t always easy; that’s an understatement. But if you asked me whether I would change it, my answer would be an automatic no. With every choice, I find myself moving closer to the version of me that is aligned with happiness. There’s no going back from that.

Each step we take toward self-discovery is a gift to ourselves, and it’s worth it—we are worth it. When we learn to trust the process, practice patience, and allow ourselves to be open to our own personal growth, we begin to connect with our authentic selves. We are all on this crazy ride together. Why not let it empower you?!

Finding your Purpose

Everyone faces times in their lives when clarity about their path feels impossible, marked by uncertainty and resistance that often go hand in hand. It’s like trying to move forward with one wheel stuck in the mud—creating imbalance and a lot of frustration. When I asked for wisdom from my spirit guides on finding clarity and purpose, the message was clear: all paths lead to letting go of the pressure we place on ourselves and returning to our authentic selves, to joy and happiness. What does that mean? Well, let’s break it down:

The Dreaded Uncertainty: Finding Your Purpose
We could all ponder the age-old question, “Why am I here?” But for now, let’s focus on a simpler approach to bringing more joy and fulfillment into your life—essentially, finding your purpose. Many of us overthink what having a purpose is supposed to mean. Are you wondering if you truly love what you’re doing now? Just answering “yes” or “no” can be a starting point. If you’re not feeling fulfilled, ask yourself, without limits, what you’d really love to do. We often think of purpose as something grand, but it can also be found in small, everyday actions. For example, your job might pay the bills but not ignite your passion; however, it still serves a purpose. Remember, it’s not the position or job that defines your purpose; it’s how you feel while doing it. For example, you don’t have to be a nurse, doctor, therapist, teacher, or coach to help or be of service to others—unless that’s your specific desire. There is great power in showing kindness and lending a helping hand in your daily life. Consider the ripple effect of opening a door for someone with their hands full, showing someone how to do something, or being a listening ear for someone having a rough day. One’s purpose can be simple; it’s about letting go of what you think it’s supposed to be and following how your choices make you feel.

Resistance: Overcoming Doubt
If you’re stuck in a cycle of doubt and unhappiness, ask yourself: What do I truly want to do? Identify what makes you happy, including hobbies and interests, especially if you’re unsure. Then, evaluate whether you’re taking steps toward these goals. Let go of the fear of failure. It’s normal to think, “It’s too hard” or “I’m not capable,” but these fears only prevent you from being your true self. I heard a quote once that stuck with me: “Fear often signals that there’s something important you need to confront.” There’s a lot of truth in that statement.

When it comes to facing our fears and not succeeding, remember that everyone experiences setbacks. But, the excitement and strength within comes from the journey of trying. My spirit guides have always loved to nudge me by saying, ‘Just try’ to help push the needle forward. Embrace the possibilities, let go of the “I can’t” mindset, and you’ll find joy in the process. The choice is yours; your mindset is your own. No one owns that power but you! And, remember, building momentum, strength, and courage comes through action and creating new experiences.

True growth and joy come from stepping forward despite the doubts. Choose courage, take that next step, and let your light shine brightly. The journey may be challenging, but when we release the grip of doubt, every step forward is a victory, leading you closer to the desires you seek and a rewarding journey.