Questions, Answers and Choices

Journal entry, recorded thoughts, channeled, working through a tough day: I found myself drowning in thoughts of despair, unkindness, and questioning my identity as a human. How could such thoughts cross my plain of existence? Is this truly who I am? Do I relish in my misery or swallow it like a pill, only to have it stuck in my throat, defying the wash of water? Choking on its presence, I choose treachery over peace, for there is no solace to be found. Panic engulfs me, and the world around me shall share in this scene of my making. I hold both the poisoned apple and the delectable fruit as equals, yet I struggle to determine which one to embrace. Why must such burdens be placed upon thee? Who is this tormentor that whispers in my ear such misery and disdain? I am of no significance, no pawn in a grander scheme to be dealt with. Who am I to be valued by the darkness when all I see is but a tear in a veil where a faint glimmer of light emerges? I dare not avert my gaze, for within that glimmer and its reflection, I find myself fixated on a calmer sea. It serves as a reminder of hope, of a profound love that, even in my darkest hours, illuminates my countenance, defining my very existence, as everything else fades away and the door opens.

Breaking up with my own baggage | Message from Spirit

A question was presented to me in mediation this morning by my spirit guides; Do you know why it feels so uncomfortable to make the changes in life that you want to make?  Because you haven’t broken up with the parts of yourself that are holding you back. It’s time to kick those b*tches out! There’s the door. Me: Laughing, and feeling the sting, all at once.

Breakups are hard, aren't they, when you get comfortable being uncomfortable with ourselves? I love how my spirit guides communicate with me; sometimes, they truly hit me between the eyes with the truth in the most creative ways. "Breaking up with myself"? What??? They are very clever, that's for sure.

And, ohh, the many facets of ourselves and the parts that no longer serve us, which keep us stagnant and often floating when we should be taking the wheel and hitting the gas pedal. If there are parts of you that you wish to change, "I know, it's not easy," as most breakups are, but aren't you worth it? Isn't your happiness and next level worth it? Uh, hells yeah, it is. As I hear my guides whisper in my ear, those self-doubting thoughts need to start planning their exit or be kicked out—not needed. 

Thank you, next. It's time, and again, you are so incredibly worth it.

Your future needs you more than your past.

When we make the courageous choice to let go of the pieces of our past that often keep us feeling trapped by negative experiences, limitations, etc., it becomes a much better use of our time, don't you think? It helps us be more present and move forward with a little more ease, allowing us to align ourselves with the highest and best version of ourselves. 

It is why it’s so important to empower ourselves to embrace the possibilities that await us and to let go of what was. 

Let only the knowledge of your past fuel an amazing tomorrow. 

Beneath the Smile

A tiny blue jay flew upon my window ledge as I stood and watched the rain beginning to fall. I noticed pieces of straw in its claws. This little blue jay was looking for a safe place to build a nest. "Was my ledge of window to be her safe haven to build a nest?" I thought to myself, getting excited.

Days passed, and she never came back. My little ledge was but a place to rest in the rain. I loved knowing that, but I couldn't help but feel saddened too. It made me wonder why I was feeling what I was feeling. One could say I am not enjoying the moment, the experience of this little bird landing on my windowsill to pause from the rain. But it's within these moments that sometimes help bring awareness to the parts of ourselves needing a little extra love and attention, and often healing.

In that moment, I realized that I had been longing for a connection, for a deeper sense of belonging and safety, which is intrinsic to our human experience. It has been true for me. As someone who has moved to a new city where time has seemed to have stopped and speed up all at once, divorced, and become an empty nester, I have come to understand that loneliness is not merely the absence of company, but rather the absence of feeling truly seen and understood, as well as the desire to love and be loved.

It is in those moments, like the little blue jay, that we wish for someone to find solace and choose to build their nest near us, to make us their safe haven, feeling safe ourselves, that we glimpse at the impact we can have on each other's lives, speaking in metaphors here. We wish to create a space of mutual trust and acceptance, where we can find refuge and nurture our dreams together. I believe it is one of the most rewarding and fulfilling roles we can embrace on our spiritual journey.

Just as the little bird's absence revealed the depths of my longing, it also reminded me of the immense joy and purpose that come from being a source of warmth and security for others. It also reminded me that combating loneliness and fostering deep and meaningful connections takes time and effort and that it's important to be patient and kind to ourselves in the process.