When Is the Right Time to See a Medium After Losing a Loved One?

One of the most common questions I receive as a medium is: How soon after a loved one has passed should I schedule a reading? Over the years, I’ve discovered that there’s really no universal answer. The timing depends on a variety of different things, including the depth of your grief, how your loved one transitioned, and even whether the spirit is ready to communicate. If you’re wondering whether now is the right time for a session, here are a few things to consider before booking a reading.

Grief can either be a Bridge or a Barrier

This is a tough one because grief is such a powerful force, and the desire to reconnect with someone who has passed away can feel immediate—filled with questions, uncertainty, and longing. It only makes sense that our grief can either open the door to a deep, healing connection or create an emotional like fog that makes receiving messages more difficult. Some people are ready to connect right away, while others may find their emotions are too raw, making it harder to receive or interpret the messages clearly.

Here are a few things to ask yourself:

• Am I emotionally open to receiving messages, or am I anxiously seeking proof? This isn’t meant to come from a place of judgment—we’ve all been there during moments of loss and grief. The need for reassurance is natural, but if you find yourself clinging to proof instead of being open to receiving, it may be a sign to pause and give yourself more time.

• Would hearing from my loved one bring me comfort, or might it stir up unresolved pain?

• Am I seeking validation of their pain, or am I ready to receive their love and guidance? It’s completely understandable to want confirmation of what they went through, especially if their passing was difficult. But if the focus is solely on their suffering, it can make it harder to receive the healing and reassurance they want to share. Spirit comes through with love, not to relive their pain, but to help you find peace.

If you’re still overwhelmed with grief, it might be best to wait. A mediumship reading should never replace the natural grieving process—it should complement your healing journey, not rush it.

The Transition Period: When Is Your Loved One Ready?

Just as we adjust when moving to a new place, souls may also need time to settle into their transition. The way a person passed can influence how quickly they are ready to communicate.

• Sudden or traumatic passings: These souls may take longer to adjust, though some come through right away if they have urgent messages.

• Long illnesses or expected transitions: Those who were preparing for their passing may be ready to communicate sooner.

• Spiritually aware individuals: If your loved one was spiritually open in life, they may reach out sooner and more clearly.

That being said, there are always exceptions—some souls communicate immediately, while others take their time. It’s important to approach a reading with an open heart and no rigid expectations.

A Medium’s Readiness Matters, Too

As a medium, my energy plays a role in the reading as well. I have rescheduled sessions when I knew I wouldn’t be the best channel for spirit. Before every session, I ensure I am grounded, clear-minded, and prepared to hold space for the range of emotions that may arise. Mediumship is a partnership between my energy, spirit’s willingness, and your openness to receive.

Signs That It’s the Right Time for a Reading

Beyond waiting a set timeframe, there are other indicators that you may be ready:

✅ You feel a strong inner pull to connect, rather than pressure from others.

✅ You’ve had vivid dreams or signs from your loved one.

✅ You feel emotionally open rather than desperate for a specific outcome.

When to Wait Before Scheduling a Reading

🚫 Your grief is still too overwhelming to process messages.

🚫 You’re hoping to validate your loved one’s pain rather than receive love and guidance.

🚫 You expect the reading to be an exact conversation rather than messages, symbols, and impressions.

A General Timeline for Scheduling a Reading

⏳ Immediate (Within Days or Weeks):

• Some souls are ready to communicate quickly, but fresh grief can make it harder for the living to receive messages clearly. If emotions are too raw, the reading may not bring the closure or clarity one hopes for.

⏳ 1 to 3 Months:

• This is often a sweet spot for many. Grief has settled enough for a person to be more receptive, and many spirits have adjusted to their transition, making communication clearer.

⏳ 6 Months to a Year:

• If grief is deep or complicated, waiting longer may be beneficial. Some people find they are more emotionally prepared and can fully process messages at this stage.

⏳ No Expiration Date:

• If you regret not scheduling a reading sooner, know that spirit has no time limits. Whether it has been months or decades, your loved one can still come through with love, guidance, and validation.

My Few Final Thoughts: Trust the Timing

Having a mediumship reading can be a beautiful and sacred experience, but the best readings happen when both you and your loved one are truly ready. Trust your intuition, honor your emotions, and know that spirit’s love transcends time. If now doesn’t feel right, that’s okay—your loved ones will be there when the moment is.

Copyright 2025 Angelique Declercq. All rights reserved.
Photography credit: Angelique DeClercq