From Reaction to Reflection: How Self-Awareness Leads to Growth

The other day, I found myself venting about a frustrating situation just to fit in. In the moment, it felt natural—something we all do or have done. But afterward, I felt really crummy about it. It didn’t feel like me. It wasn’t aligned with who I strive to be.

Of course, I reminded myself that I’m human, trying not to dwell. We all have moments when we slip into old patterns. But that experience led me to a profound realization: solutions don’t come from stewing in our frustrations; they arise from acceptance. And, even more importantly, we have to catch ourselves before we fall too deep into the rabbit hole of regret.

It’s a funny thing, regret. It doesn’t always hit us all at once—it’s more subtle than that. It starts as a quiet discomfort, then morphs into overanalyzing, self-judgment, or that nagging voice in our heads saying things like, Ugh… you should have handled that differently. It’s easy to get stuck replaying moments, feeling tension in the body, or letting shame creep in, even over the smallest things. But the moment we notice these signals, we have an opportunity to pause before regret takes over.

That pause is everything. It’s one of the most beautiful pieces of wisdom my spirit guides have offered: hit the pause button—something I clearly need to be more mindful of. But it gives us a moment to breathe, to separate fact from feeling, and to step out of the spiral before it pulls us deeper. Instead of thinking, I shouldn’t have done that, we can shift to, I did my best in that moment, and I can choose differently next time. Regret loses its grip when we replace self-criticism with self-compassion. We don’t have to be perfect to be growing.

Rather than obsessing over what we wish we had done differently, we can redirect our focus to what we can do now. Maybe there’s a lesson in the experience. Maybe we can make amends. Or maybe, the best thing we can do is simply let it go. The body holds onto energy, so moving physically—whether through stretching, a walk, or even just shaking out our hands—can help reset our mindset, too. A good friend of mine once said, if you’re in your head too much, get up, and get outside and that has always helped, even if just to redirect my thoughts.

Self-awareness is a gift, but only if we use it wisely. It’s not meant to trap us in regret but to show us where we can grow. The goal isn’t to avoid missteps altogether—that’s impossible. It’s about recognizing them sooner, choosing with intention, and remembering that every moment of reflection is an opportunity to begin again.

Because growth isn’t about never stumbling. It’s about catching yourself, standing back up, and moving forward with more wisdom than before. And that’s where your power lies.

Copyright 2025 Angelique Declercq. All rights reserved.
Art credit: Illustration created with Adobe Firefly AI in Photoshop.